Dear cancer,
It's been a year now since we started going at it... You took my grandfather when I was young, and I never really got to know him because of it. Several years passed and then you decide to take my father from me. He's my hero and losing him was something I've never really gotten over.
Last year you started in with me. I ran thru all the emotions and then settled on just one. My family and friends came and lined up behind me and we all prepared ourselves for what needed to be done. I prepared myself for bad days but I honestly wasn't expecting how bad those days would be. It was like hell on earth but now I know I can handle anything you can dish out. No way I was gonna quit. And in case you are thinking about coming back, my promise to you is more of the same from me.
Now, I'm sitting at home enjoying my evening. Spent the whole week this week putting in full days at the office. I'll be going for a nice bike ride in the morning. I'm able to sit in the saddle now without any pain and my legs are getting stronger each week. I am still receiving chemo treatments for the next few months but that's just to help make sure I don't have to deal with you again.
You were never welcome here and now you're gone....but I'm still here.
Rene
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Friday, October 21, 2011
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Out of the hospital, day one...
Man I feel like a mess but it's good to be home. No kidding. I never got more than two hours of sleep at any one time while in the hospital. Keeper having people coming in to take blood, or give me meds, or take my vital signs. My favorite was the nurse that would bust into the room at three am just to ask if there was anything I needed... It's my impression that she might not go very far in the health care industry.
I think the best moment for me was getting wheeled out of the lobby and seeing mom waiting in the driveway with the car. As soon as I got into the car, a huge wave of emotions hit me all at once. I thought about my father and grandfathers fight with cancer. Thought about how great God was in allowing me to be well enough to leave the hospital only four days after going through two major procedures, a colostomy, and the removal of a grapefruit sized tumor. We thanked the surgeon before leaving and he said it wasn't him and then proceeds to point up to the sky... Someone is looking after me...
The fight isn't over but we just won a huge victory. The surgeon feels he got all the cancer and now it's time to heal up before another round of chemotherapy to ensure there is no trace in my body. We are done with being defensive and now it's time to go on the offensive with this...
I smell arroz con pollo cooking now so I better go... Man, It's good to be home.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I think the best moment for me was getting wheeled out of the lobby and seeing mom waiting in the driveway with the car. As soon as I got into the car, a huge wave of emotions hit me all at once. I thought about my father and grandfathers fight with cancer. Thought about how great God was in allowing me to be well enough to leave the hospital only four days after going through two major procedures, a colostomy, and the removal of a grapefruit sized tumor. We thanked the surgeon before leaving and he said it wasn't him and then proceeds to point up to the sky... Someone is looking after me...
The fight isn't over but we just won a huge victory. The surgeon feels he got all the cancer and now it's time to heal up before another round of chemotherapy to ensure there is no trace in my body. We are done with being defensive and now it's time to go on the offensive with this...
I smell arroz con pollo cooking now so I better go... Man, It's good to be home.
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Saturday, July 30, 2011
In recovery mode
Surgery is done and the doc said everything went great. No indications that it's spread anywhere else. My main goal now is just trying to move around. Taking some good meds right now. They don't let you sleep much here but it's all good. Looking forward to going home.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Getting ready for tomorrow
Tomorrow is the big day. Hopefully I will be cancer free by this time tomorrow. Lots of things going thru my mind right now. The ostomy I'll be having is a life changer but it's way better than the alternative. I'll be surprised if I get any sleep tonight but that's ok. There will be plenty of time for that later. I go in tomorrow at 5:30am and the surgery is scheduled for around 7am. I'm ready to get this over with. Let's do this!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, July 25, 2011
...almost time.
Tomorrow I go in for my pre operative appointments. It's been a few weeks since ive finished up chemotherapy and radiation treatments and all of it has been to prepare for Thursday's surgery. I'm not looking forward to it but I am looking forward to getting it over with. The doc says I'll be in the hospital anywhere from 5-10 days...fun. Oh well, let's do this. Three more days to go. I'm ready to be cancer free.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
The countdown begins
Ok...it's been a while since my last post. Since my last post I finished up my first round of chemo and radiation treatments. The doc told me I breezed thru the treatments but he didn't fool me. If I breezed thru it, I'd hate to think of what they considered struggling..haha. I started at 185 lbs and finished the treatments six weeks later at a svelte 155 lbs.
It's been two and a half weeks now since I finished and I've managed to put on a few pounds and my energy has started to come back. I jumped on the bike this last weekend but only was able to ride 15 mins before I was totally exhausted. I have a long way to go but as bad as I felt, it was good to finally get out even if it was only a few miles.
I met with my surgeon yesterday and the tests showed that there was some shrinkage of the tumor. We discussed the procedure and what to expect afterwards. Because of the location of the tumor, I will be required to have a permanent ostomy to ensure they remove all the cancer in the area. I'll admit I wasn't too happy after hearing the news and even felt a little angry. Looking at it now, it's much better than the alternative. I've now made it into a personal challenge to not let it change my life. If people can ride with missing limbs than there is no reason why I should let an ostomy get in my way...
My surgery is scheduled for July 26th followed by four and a half months of chemotherapy. I have a few weeks to enjoy the Summer before we hit it hard again. I'm a little nervous about the procedure but I know it's nothing I can't handle...looking forward to my upcoming cancer free days.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
It's been two and a half weeks now since I finished and I've managed to put on a few pounds and my energy has started to come back. I jumped on the bike this last weekend but only was able to ride 15 mins before I was totally exhausted. I have a long way to go but as bad as I felt, it was good to finally get out even if it was only a few miles.
I met with my surgeon yesterday and the tests showed that there was some shrinkage of the tumor. We discussed the procedure and what to expect afterwards. Because of the location of the tumor, I will be required to have a permanent ostomy to ensure they remove all the cancer in the area. I'll admit I wasn't too happy after hearing the news and even felt a little angry. Looking at it now, it's much better than the alternative. I've now made it into a personal challenge to not let it change my life. If people can ride with missing limbs than there is no reason why I should let an ostomy get in my way...
My surgery is scheduled for July 26th followed by four and a half months of chemotherapy. I have a few weeks to enjoy the Summer before we hit it hard again. I'm a little nervous about the procedure but I know it's nothing I can't handle...looking forward to my upcoming cancer free days.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Are we there yet?
Well, week number five of chemo and radiation is coming to an end. The last week has been tough. It's still been a struggle holding my weight and I have to say I haven't been very successful in that battle. The good thing is that there isn't much longer to go in this round of treatments. The long weekend coming up means no treatments on Monday and should help give me a chance to rest and maybe put on some more weight. One more day before before the final week of round one.
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- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Thunderstorm on a clear night....
Last weekend marked the halfway point in my opening round of treatments. The treatments have started to really have an effect on my body. I figured I've lost about 15 pounds since I started. My goal is to try and not lose too much more in the next three. To help, I've brought in a secret weapon...Mom and her cookin. Haha.
One of the other side effects I've been having trouble with is the inability to sleep at night. I've tried all sorts of things including herbal teas and supplements. Finally, after playing with my iPad late in the evening, I downloaded a soundtrack from iTunes of a thunderstorm. It did the trick... Thank you iTunes...
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One of the other side effects I've been having trouble with is the inability to sleep at night. I've tried all sorts of things including herbal teas and supplements. Finally, after playing with my iPad late in the evening, I downloaded a soundtrack from iTunes of a thunderstorm. It did the trick... Thank you iTunes...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Friday, May 6, 2011
No appetite but still plenty of hair...
Ok...just took my last dose of chemo for this week. The week started out ok but the last two days have been pretty tough. This is the end of my second week of chemotherapy and radiation with four more weeks to go. Hopefully, these next four weeks will go by quickly. The main focus I've had during this time is to try to not lose too much more weight. Friday is the day my weight is measured and today's weigh in showed that I had lost another four pounds this week. It would have been worse had it not been for the roll of quarters I had in my pocket...haha. On the positive side, I put on a pair of size 32 pants. The last time that happened was back in high school... The plan for this weekend is to recover from this week and try to add a little more weight to get ready for next week. These last two weeks have been tough but I know the meds are working. Week two is over now... ready to take on week number three!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday, April 29, 2011
Week #1 coming to a close
Just got home from my last radiation treatment for this week. No radiation treatments on Saturday and Sunday also means no chemotherapy for those days too. The radiation treatments weren't that bad but the chemo treatments have not been very fun. Wednesday was probably my worse day. The medicine had me feeling rotten. I spoke to the docs that morning and they phoned in a prescription for me to help with the nausea. The new meds did the trick and now I'm able to eat and sleep a little better. I still have nausea but nowhere as bad as before... One week down...five more to go...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Monday, April 25, 2011
Beam it out Scotty
Ok. Here we go. First day of treatments today. It went well for the most part. Got to the hospital a little early and the staff were able to squeeze me in. I went in and headed to the treatment room. The radiation warning sign on the one foot thick door meant this tumor was going to have a bad Rene day.
I go in and lay flat on my belly on the machine. Afterwards, the nurses adjust my position carefully lining up the lasers with the marks they made earlier last week on my bum. It was very cool in sort of humiliating way. It wasn't too long before it was all over...
I had started my chemo treatment earlier this morning. Nothing too dramatic. It was a nice relief to know my first series of chemotherapy would consist of a series of pills I would take daily.
...tomorrow, we do it all over again for the next six weeks. I'm just happy to finally get this started.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I go in and lay flat on my belly on the machine. Afterwards, the nurses adjust my position carefully lining up the lasers with the marks they made earlier last week on my bum. It was very cool in sort of humiliating way. It wasn't too long before it was all over...
I had started my chemo treatment earlier this morning. Nothing too dramatic. It was a nice relief to know my first series of chemotherapy would consist of a series of pills I would take daily.
...tomorrow, we do it all over again for the next six weeks. I'm just happy to finally get this started.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
A simulating experience
Yesterday was a fairly easy day. The nurse was great. I think she could read my expression as i walked into the room after I changed out of my street clothes. She said today would be pain free.
I went in to run what they call a "simulation" and CT scan for the radiation treatments that will start on Monday. My part was easy. I basically had to lay flat on my stomach while they ran though a large machine. Of course, I'm doing this in a hospital gown that is lacking in the back. The nurse explained the process as she went and then made marks on my body to serve as reference points, "targets", for the radiation treatments. Looks like we are all set to start the treatments now. Monday is the big day. Chemotherapy and radiation for six weeks....let's do this!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
I went in to run what they call a "simulation" and CT scan for the radiation treatments that will start on Monday. My part was easy. I basically had to lay flat on my stomach while they ran though a large machine. Of course, I'm doing this in a hospital gown that is lacking in the back. The nurse explained the process as she went and then made marks on my body to serve as reference points, "targets", for the radiation treatments. Looks like we are all set to start the treatments now. Monday is the big day. Chemotherapy and radiation for six weeks....let's do this!!
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Friday, April 15, 2011
Today wasn't too bad. Some more exams, more paperwork and more consulting with doctors. Nothing much new. Just nailing down the treatment schedule and examination for the most part. I start the Monday after Easter with six weeks of daily radiation and chemotherapy for six weeks. Then after twelve weeks, I'll have surgery followed by more chemotherapy.
Today I met the final doctor on my team and overall, I'm really impressed with them all. Comments from hospital staff further confirm the quality of the doctors so that makes me rest easier knowing I have best guys on my side. My next appointment is on Tuesday so that gives me some time to relax for a bit. Looking forward to this weekend. Miss being on the bike so maybe I'll get a chance to get out for at least a few miles... See you next week.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Today I met the final doctor on my team and overall, I'm really impressed with them all. Comments from hospital staff further confirm the quality of the doctors so that makes me rest easier knowing I have best guys on my side. My next appointment is on Tuesday so that gives me some time to relax for a bit. Looking forward to this weekend. Miss being on the bike so maybe I'll get a chance to get out for at least a few miles... See you next week.
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Location:More gowns
Some good news with a touch of drama...
Thursday I met the doc that would be managing my chemotherapy treatments. Dr. Hsu was very nice and had already looked at the X-rays taken on Wednesday. He said everything looked good and there appeared to be no sign of the cancer spreading to my chest. He gave me a brief exam and left the exam room for a moment while a nurse took some blood. Both my mom and sister were in the exam room with me and soon the nurse was finished. After she left the room, I started to feel a little dizzy. It was then when I heard my sister, who is a nurse, say they had taken too much blood. That was the last thing I remembered... The next thing I remember was waking up flat on my back on the examination table with the doctor and nurse quickly checking my vital signs. It was a scary moment for mom, but my sister and I were giggling about the whole scene on our way out... It was still a good day...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
A day of gowns and lead skirts...
Today started at 4am prepping for the tests that would be run today. My first procedure today would be an ultrasound of the tumor to determine it's extent. I'll spare the details other than it wasn't very fun. The results basically confirmed what we already knew- it seems the cancer is fairly localized at this point.
After that, it was time for a series of x-rays to be taken to be positive the cancer hasn't spread into my chest. Won't know the results of the x-rays for a few days but I'm believing that these will show no trace of additional cancer.
Tomorrow I meet with the doctor that will administer my chemotherapy treatments and with the radiation doctor on Friday. I'm expecting treatments to begin soon after so we start punishing this tumor nonstop...
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After that, it was time for a series of x-rays to be taken to be positive the cancer hasn't spread into my chest. Won't know the results of the x-rays for a few days but I'm believing that these will show no trace of additional cancer.
Tomorrow I meet with the doctor that will administer my chemotherapy treatments and with the radiation doctor on Friday. I'm expecting treatments to begin soon after so we start punishing this tumor nonstop...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
It all started on a Tuesday...
This is my first effort in creating a blog so bear with me as I go along with this... For those who don't know, I have been diagnosed with colon cancer. I thought creating this blog would be a good way to keep family and friends up to date and to document the experience...
I have felt progressively ill for quite some time now, but when my weight started to fall, it was time to get checked out. To make a long story short, a tumor was found and a biopsy of the mass confirmed it was cancer. It's been a week now, and after several doctors visits we are still not sure if the cancer has spread to the rest of my body. Tomorrow's tests should tell more and we should also have a better understanding as to what sort of treatments I will pursue... but I'm ready...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
I have felt progressively ill for quite some time now, but when my weight started to fall, it was time to get checked out. To make a long story short, a tumor was found and a biopsy of the mass confirmed it was cancer. It's been a week now, and after several doctors visits we are still not sure if the cancer has spread to the rest of my body. Tomorrow's tests should tell more and we should also have a better understanding as to what sort of treatments I will pursue... but I'm ready...
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone
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